How to Stop Caring What People Think Of You
When we care about how we are perceived by others we spend too much time analysing our own behaviour and what we might naturally do gets disregarded in favour of what looks good to others. We consider how what we say or do might appear to someone or everyone else. We might think we want to achieve things and set ourselves goals that we never reach. We don’t reach them because in fact, we are not following our true nature. We are making life decisions based on how we look to others. Maybe we are hung up on achievement of certain goals for the kudos it will seemingly give us.
We don’t always know that this is the case until we really go deep and see things for what they really are. For instance, I used to have this intention to be a millionaire. I stuck this caveat on it ‘Only through achievement’ Why? When I thought about it, I could feel that was a resistance. It wasn’t for me, it was for how that would seem to other people, only I didn’t realise that at the time. This was a lovely relief. I re-set the intention to ‘In the most harmonious way possible’ Who cares how it happens? I’ve been softly manifesting more financial freedom over the last couple of years. When I look back at how far I have come in that time, it seems crazy fast progress but while you are living it, it is just life.
Why do We Need Validation?
There are various reasons that we might look for validation outside of ourselves. Often it comes from childhood. Maybe there was a parent that didn’t encourage you. Perhaps there was a particular person who made you feel less than, maybe a certain teacher didn’t appreciate your efforts. Can you look back and see how something someone else did or didn’t do is effecting the way you live your life?
How much power do we want to give these people? We can choose that from today we will practise ONLY self validation. When you feel the need to tell someone something so that they might heap praise on you or in the vein hope that certain person will say something encouraging, stop. Have a think about why you are relaying this information. Are you looking for something outside of you to give you that sugar rush of validation? If the answer is yes, don’t do it. It’s a re-training of the mind. It is hard at first, but you will come to notice that you actually have no desire to beg for someone’s praise. You are already content with your efforts. You are able to congratulate yourself and be proud of yourself for no other reason than you value you.
It’s a funny thing, when you start to care less about other people’s opinions, they start to appreciate you. They begin to congratulate you. When we are chasing validation it eludes us, as with everything else we want to manifest. Validation is no different. It’s never enough. When we get some validation, we crave more. it’s like a drug and it DOES have side-effects. It causes a level of negative expectation within. It’s always there and it’s often impacting the decisions that we make. We do a good job at convincing ourselves that it really is all about us and we ARE doing this because it’s what we truly want in life, but is it? There may be elements of genuine in there, but often it’s padded out with others expectations or a desire to look good.
Other People’s Expectations
This is something that can really hold you back in life. Do you often feel knotted up inside due to other people’s expectations of you? Do you even know what those expectations are? Sometimes people don’t make them clear but you know when you haven’t met them! Still, look at it this way: Someone else’s expectation of me is their issue not mine. My job is to do the best I can. As long as I am good with what I have or haven’t done, that’s all that matters. You will find that with this energy, comes a change from them. The weight of their expectations is lifted. Whether it’s just that you no longer care or they no longer feel it, who knows. Either way it’s good 🙂