Law of Attraction and Manifesting Specific People
Here, I have two success stories, each person did it in different ways. It’s interesting to note however, that although each person here manifested using different techniques, in both cases they ultimately ‘felt’ the same way.
Em’s Ex Back Story in a Nutshell
Em is a friend of mine. We hadn’t seen each other for some time when we met up by accident a couple of years ago. She had split from her partner and was not in the best place although she was in a state of natural acceptance. He was living with someone else at this point. Now, rightly or wrongly, I told her what I was doing these days….specific person manifestation is all well and good, but when you are speaking to someone who is moving through the break-up process and who you know will get there at some point, is it wise to give them this information?
First of all, I thought NO. I should not have told her it was indeed possible to manifest him back into her life. Why? because it set her back a good few months. The healing process stalled and she became obsessed with the whole idea of it. She became a manic manifestor! She forgot that the healing process is vital in order to move on or to have the relationship back.
I’m going to cut a very long story short as I have told this story on numerous occasions (if you want to see the full story you can do so by becoming a member here.
Stop Manifesting Your Ex Back EM!
After a few months of nothing, Em decided enough was enough. I told her to stop! Cease and desist and start living her life once more. I told her to set a firm intention to be with him again. She isn’t really a resentful person and she was easily able to forgive as she could see that she was partly to blame. With no contrary feelings, a short while later she bumped into him, literally 🙂
Bear in mind she hadn’t seen him for many months. They chatted, they grabbed a coffee and chatted some more. His relationship was over. It had ended pretty much at the point that Em had stopped manifesting him.
They had been in a new relationship for over a year. A few weeks ago they split up again. This time however, Em ended it. It was all very amicable and they remain friends but she feels she has changed and he has not. That’s not to say he isn’t more considerate and actually, a very decent BF, but she wants different things now. She puts this down to an interest in reality creation and more of a focus on what she actually wants in life.
So manifesting your person does not mean it’s a permanent arrangement. It doesn’t have to be your last chance at love. They might well be the one, but they might not. Try not to look at the manifestation of them as the be all and end all. See it as an opportunity to give it a go.
My Thoughts on Em’s Specific Person Manifestation
As soon as Em decided enough was enough and really felt it, she opened up the reality she wanted to experience. Her obsessive manifesting was holding her back. It was holding her in the same 3d. She was having the experience she was feeling and she was feeling stuck.
She still wanted him but she instinctively knew that this was not the way. When you’ve been at something for a long time with no results, it’s time to try something new and ‘doing nothing’ is often, the new you need.
She let it go. Not the idea of being with him but the notion that she could force it. You cannot force manifestation. It’s not a try hard process. It’s a trust in something you don’t understand process. That can be your own subconscious mind, your higher self, God, the Universe….for me it’s the subconscious. it’s simple, it works for me. It’s there for me any time I need it and it will do as I ask.
Claires Specific Person Success Story
Claire had become attached to a guy she works with. They had become great friends and the more they spent time together, the more she fell for him. He was in a relationship however. Personally I am not a coach that teaches people to scrub out the third party, get rid of them in some way. Why don’t I like that particular model of manifestation? It’s negative, it’s giving attention to what we don’t like, it’s messing with the middle. reality will sort this one way or another with no need for intervention from us.
Claire and Guy (not his actual name) spent a night together. They were on a course at work and staying away. They were drunk, her more so than him and it just happened. Her words, not mine. Nothing just happens. It happened because she was manifesting him.
Claire’s Manifesting Technique
Affirmations, persistent and consistent. ‘Guy is in love with me’ ‘Guy wants me’ ‘Guy can’t stop thinking about me’ – hmmmm. What’s the problem with these affirmations? you might ask. Do you see how they relate to his feelings and nothing else? So what if he is crazy about her, if he can’t stop thinking about her? He was those things but he decided not to take things any further after that night. He had indeed fallen for her, but apart from those feelings, he felt freaked out. She sensed it and she went full on, both in action and internally. The more she pushed for something from him, the more he pulled away until they were reduced to polite conversation at work and nothing outside of work. He avoided her at all costs.
She came to me with exhaustion. She was worn out, frustrated, angry, both at herself and him. She was confused too. ‘I thought this was how conscious manifestation worked’ she said. ‘No, it isn’t. This is how conscious manifestation backfires!’
Why Hadn’t Her SP Based Affirmations Worked?
They had. Guy did feel those things. But in the end, he pulled away and avoided her. He felt he had made a huge mistake and he told her it wouldn’t work between them.
Affirmations are merely a placebo when it comes to manifesting. Everything is. A far better affirmation would be this ‘I am able to create relationships easily and with whoever I want’ or ‘I can be happy no matter who is in my life’ or ‘Relationships with people I am attracted to come easy to me’ – The list is endless. If you put the focus of your affirmations on that specific person, you will inevitably run into resistance at some point. You will feel disappointment when you don’t hear the exact words you have been affirming for and this little disappointment will lead to more of the same. That vibration is contagious. It grows and grows over a very short time until reality is nothing like you’ve been affirming.
What Did I Advise Claire to Do Next
I know Claire is a doer. She likes to take action in all areas of her life so me telling her to set a clear intention and be done with it would not have worked for her. It would have caused her more resistance. it’s important that we work with what we know about ourselves.
I told Claire to ditch the idea of being with him right now. To indeed set a clear and concise intention, and to hold the idea of that in her heart. Then I told her to say ‘whatever’ each and every time she started to feel anxious about it not happening or about making a fool of herself. I told her to be polite when she saw him at work but not to make idle chit chat as she had been attempting to do. I also told her to stop posting on her Instagram account as she had gone into over-drive in the hope that he would suddenly realise what he was missing. That almost never happens. When we post for attention, all we do is show them that we are available, we are desperate for them to reach out and we are clearly trying to get their attention. You get attention on social media by NOT posting, not showing what you are doing at all times. You create an air of mystery by keeping quiet.
Social Media and Your Specific Person
I stopped posting anything on social media a couple of years ago and I can’t even bring myself to post a Birthday pic now! Remember, it’s not real. It’s a snapshot into someones life in that moment but it doesn’t mean anything. There are guys (and women) that have numerous affairs and post loved up pics with their partners all the time like they have the perfect relationship. She knows about most of them and he continues to behave in the same manner. Nothing perfect about that relationship but it looks like a fairytale. If you see shots of them looking super-happy, dismiss it as of no consequence. In fact, better not to look at all. If you know that seeing something you don’t like will send you into a spiral, avoid at all costs. What we can’t see can’t hurt us.
Claire’s New Affirmations
‘I get what I want without trying’
‘I can let that shit go’
‘I choose to let reality move for me and bring me a great relationship’
When you can say with conviction ‘Them or someone better’ you are starting to detach.
Fast forward four months. Yes four months! That’s not so long really 🙂 Claire got a text ‘Hey, how’s things?’
‘Great’ she replied. She did tell me that she was desperate to say more but as I had told her repeatedly, less IS more.
‘Fancy catching up sometime? It’s been ages.’
‘Can do’ – She remembered me telling her about that phrase and me. Whenever anyone uses it when I ask them to do something I immediately feel like they aren’t that bothered. It’s because my brother uses it a lot and I know when he doesn’t really want to do something so I have transferred it to others! I should know better. Anyway, Claire remembered it in the moment and smiled to herself as she used it!
‘Do you want to?’ Came his response.
So, to cut another really long story short, they met for lunch. He told her his relationship was going nowhere, that lately he kept thinking of her, that she was the most interesting person he’d ever met, that she was gorgeous….he went on.
What did Claire do next?
She stayed strong even though she wanted to drag him to the bathroom and rip his clothes off. ‘That’s really nice. I like you a lot too but I can’t see you while you’re in a relationship.’
‘Okay, I understand. Can we still meet up like this though?’
‘I don’t think that will be good for me.’
‘Oh, right. No, I suppose not. Sorry. I don’t know what to do. We’ve been together for ten years now.’
‘If you find yourself single, drop me a line.’
This was the end of the conversation. I have to say that Claire was devastated. She cried and told me that nothing had worked out how she wanted it to. She was missing what HAD happened. She had gone from completely dismissed by him to being chased. After a couple of days with nothing from her, she emailed me.
You are right! I was so stuck on the specifics that I lost sight of the positives. Actually, before he texted me I wasn’t all that bothered. I had started to go ages without even thinking about him. Why am I so bothered? He sort of suggested an affair didn’t he? I don’t want that and what does that say about him? No, it’s all or nothing and that’s that. I’m going to Ibiza next week so he can do one!!
Claire went to Ibiza. She had a fling with a guy from the States, she had a great time with her mates and said she barely thought of Guy at all. When she got home she realised he had followed her stories (I have no idea how you do that or what that even means) he posted something about relationships ending and she assumed he was referring to her. No, he was referring to his ten year relationship.
Phew, I said these were going to be shortened versions didn’t I!? Well, six weeks in and he’s cooked her dinner twice, they went to watch Indiana Jones, she’s moved offices (which she says is for the best), he texts her every few days, mostly memes and other pointless things (in my opinion) but hey, he’s a man. They don’t do communication like we do. Best to accept that and stop making a big deal of the weekly text count. Claire says she likes him a lot, she fancies him a lot, but she is no longer obsessed. She has the odd worry that he will go back to his ex but as I told her ‘Enjoy it for what it is right now. Don’t worry about what might happen or what it could be.’ – She’ll be fine whatever happens.
How did Claire do It?
She stopped caring so much. She started to live her life in the knowledge that it was possible to be with him but it wasn’t everything to her anymore. She started to see her own worth again and she stopped berating herself for how she had behaved. Let’s face it, most of us have chased after a person at some point in our lives. Yes, you feel like an idiot when it goes south but I guarantee you that it will bother you more than it bothers the other person. Whilst you’ll concern yourself about it, they’ll have moved past it and probably never think about it again.
So you see in both cases, detachment to a point had come into it. Each put themselves above the other person finally and took hyper focus away from the situation. They were no longer observing the 3d and considering it to be sub-standard. They let it be and found a way to dilute those feelings of attachment.
Evie is a Law of Attraction and Manifesting Coach