Law of Attraction Coach & Author

no contact rule after break-up

Evie Sparkes - Author and Coach

The No Contact Rule After a Break-up

Manifesting – To Reach out or Not to Reach Out?

Is there really such a thing as a not contact rule? if there is, then who made it? It’s my considered opinion that people’s experience made it! Of course, it isn’t an actual rule and no bad will happen to you if you do indeed reach out to your ex, but let me explain why no contact is so valuable when you want to be back with a person.

When a relationship ends, it’s painful. When we weren’t the one to end it, it’s even worse. We feel horrible most of the time and all we want is to not feel horrible.

The relationship ended for a reason. Maybe it seemed random and maybe it was a long time coming, but in either case, there was something going on for the other party, so much so that they decided enough is enough. So, with this in mind, would it be reasonable to think that they are desperate to hear from you? Let’s say it’s been a week. It ended badly and all you want is to speak to them and remind them how great you actually are. They’ll hear your voice and realise that they made a terrible mistake.

I’m not saying that people can’t change how they feel in an instant, they can, but this happens when we have no expectation of it. This has happened twice in my life. I simply wished things would change and they did. Very quickly too. No expectation equals no attachment to the outcome, equals success.

Specific Person Manifestation

The problem with specific person manifestation and throwing yourself into the law of attraction before dealing with the loss and your feelings over it, is that you start to see everything as your responsibility. You decide it’s your fault as of course, everyone is you pushed out…but assigning 100% blame to yourself is soul destroying. 50/50 works much better. You have some, they have some.

I truly believe that taking some time to process all of your feelings before manifesting your ex back into your life is key to your success. Sweeping those feelings under the carpet for fear of ruining your manifestation is not helpful in the long-term. They don’t go anywhere. They come back to disrupt things at a later date.

Why No Contact Works

If I’m totally honest, it works better when you know nothing about the law of attraction or when you at least know your own value. When we go no contact and have no idea about manifestation, we have no attachment to them reaching out to us. We’d like it, but we have no idea that we can manifest it on an energetic level. So, we are in effect, in a state of allowing from the get-go.

No contact from you gives the other person time to reflect, and if there were good times, they will remember them. If you bombard them with calls and texts, they will only remind themselves of why it ended. They will feel pressure, like they are being backed into a corner and none of us likes that.

Let Them Miss You

How can someone miss you if you are reaching out to them? Let them feel the loss of you. Let them consider why they ended things and come to the conclusion that perhaps they have made a mistake. When you are always the one to make contact, and you don’t feel good about it, all that you are doing is maintaining an imbalance within the relationship.

It’s my conclusion that no contact for at least 28 days, gives them and you the space that you need to work through your emotions. After that point, it’s up to you. If you make contact in the feeling state of ‘I’m good either way, but I’d like to see if we can give this another shot’ then all good. It’s all in the way that you feel and not in the action you take. be sure to know that you are doing it with a relaxed energy and if you don’t get the response that you want, be determined to live your life and leave it alone until they come to you. If you are in this mind-set, they will.

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