how to stop being needy in a relationship

How to Stop Being Needy in a Relationship

Evie Sparkes is a relationship writer, life coach and law of attraction writer.

Need is an energy. Did you know that our energy is out there for anyone to pick up? That’s a scary thought isn’t it?

When we need a person, we have them in a strangle-hold.

Need in Relationships – When it comes to neediness, it can be handled in the same way. Whether you are a follower of the law of attraction or not. When you understand how your own energy can effect your relationships, you start to be open to changing that energy. I’m not saying that it’s easy or something you can do and see success over-night but it can be done. It takes more than a little self-discipline at first, but it will become more natural the more that you practise.

Why Might You Be Needy in This Relationship?

Look at what is causing you to feel needy and clingy. Can you go back in time and find one incident that led to this need? Usually there is something. It might be a one-off incident that programmed the need or it may have been a past relationship, maybe with your parents or a good friend. Often when we are dis-regarded or abandoned at some point in our lives, we can develop and overall vibration of need over want. It’s okay to want someone. Desire is not a bad thing. It’s natural and what generally leads to us being with the object of our affection at some point in time.

When we need someone in order to make us happy, we are not allowing ourselves to find happiness in our own company. We are putting that person on a pedestal as if they were better than us in some way. Then they become hard to reach emotionally. We are pushing them away only we don’t realise it.

When we see someone as a little out of reach it’s exactly what they become.

Feel The Need Dissolve

Bring the relationship to mind. How do you feel about it in general? What is your concern? Has that concern ever been backed up with a solid fact?

One thing is for sure, neediness is repellant. We get scared of people that need us, apart from our children of course. We don’t necessarily realise our fear, we just naturally back away. Almost like a reflex action. Don’t be angry at someone who is behaving in this way. The more you push, the more they will pull. When you feel differently about yourself, then they will feel differently about you. Your energy will change. I can’t explain it fully. Why the way that we feel about ourselves should change the way someone else behaves. I just know it to be true. The energy we put out changes and we become more attractive. Not just in that one relationship but it every relationship.

Now you have called that relationship to mind, try to imagine how it would be if you didn’t feel needy. How much more awesome would it be? You’d be happier being free of need wouldn’t you?

Dwell in the feeling of ‘free’ Imagine scenarios with that person. See yourself differently in your minds eye and behave differently in your imagination. How good does that feel?

Now feel that need and imagine it melting away. Dissolve it into a big pile of nothing. See it as something if that helps. Make it an object if you new to working with feelings. See the empty space where it used to be.

Practise Makes Perfect

Do this often. Our subconscious responds to repetition. The more you evoke those new feelings, the greater chance it has to give them to you. You become what you feel and the more you feel in control and free all the same time, you will become so.

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