How to Change Your Self Concept FAST

How do you see yourself?

Our concept of self has a direct correlation to how we see the world. Have you ever heard of the theory that everyone is you pushed out? It was a phrase coined by the late great Neville Goddard. In essence it means You see a world that reflects the way you see things. If you are constantly telling yourself you are never first choice, then you will see a reality that says ‘Indeed. You are right, you are never first choice.’ People will choose others over you all the time. But it won’t be because you are in some way defective, it will be because you have instructed reality to bend for you only you don’t realise what you are doing.

Common Misconception About Everyone is You Pushed Out

It does not mean that you must have at some point in time had a thought or a feeling that a person was going to treat you a certain way. It is not that black and white unfortunately. If someone ghosts you for example, you may have a deep routed belief that people leave for no reason. This is a more general belief but it can show in all manner of ways. Then, yes, maybe you are fearful of a person leaving you. It niggles at you and your contact with them is routed in fear. This is rather more direct. You can easily put that fear of loss together with them dropping out of your life.

When Our Self Concept is Good

When we feel good in our own skin, when we accept ourselves in the moment and don’t overthink what we consider our defects. we have a decent self concept. We may be up for changing things about ourselves but we are not berating ourselves in the present moment. A good self concept does not mean we are walking about thinking how wonderful we are. It simply means we are not telling ourselves that we are not. It’s about acceptance. If you accept every aspect of yourself in this moment then you are on to a winner.

Personal Transformation Can Be Made Today

Yes, I know it sounds crazy. You have felt this way about yourself for so long that you must surely have to counteract it with months of inner work. Not so. You get to decide who you are going to be in any given moment. Start by writing it down. Who are you right now? Don’t be scared to get it all down on paper. What parts do you want to change or can you make a decision to accept all of it? Either is good. If you can’t accept certain things, what would the alternative be?

Write your new character. That’s what you’ve done so far in life. Not written it, but designed it. Your experiences in life have made you feel one way or another and they have then made up the person you are right now. We are all different, so your experiences had by someone else might create a whole different character. It’s our reaction to events and circumstances that matter, not that they happened.

When you have the new version of you down, bring them in. All versions of us are there for the living. Imagine a quantum pool of possibility. You select the version of you that you want to be and you make it a probability. Now you must start thinking as that person. That’s all it takes! When you feel yourself slipping back to the old way of thinking pull yourself back. I have worked with clients who have changed their whole being within weeks not months and one in particular was so taken with the idea that one aspect of her previous identity was all but wiped out in 7 days!

Our thoughts are what shape us. If we keep having the same ones we are destined to remain in the same state. We must change something in order for something to change. You may think that your thoughts are out of your control. They aren’t. We are in control. It’s easy to let our thoughts run away with us and get caught up in victim mindset. I used to use the phrase ‘I will not be a victim to my feelings.’ This allowed me to get tough with myself and pull myself back to a more productive way of thinking.

I am a self concept coach – If you’d like to work with me please feel free to drop me a line.