Right, first things first, it’s almost impossible for most of us to be this way ALL of the time. We can air on the side of positivity over negativity, but we are not going to be feeling ‘A1 Happy’ all of the time. We have life to deal with, and sometimes it gets messy.
I consider myself to be a very positive person. I choose the positive perspective over the negative each and every time. However, I am not happy one hundred percent of the time. If I had to put a percentage on it, I’d give it 90%. Pretty good though right?
If you can aim for 80% happy to start with then you are tipping the scales in your favour.
What Stops us from Being Happy?
I once heard this phrase on a TV show and it made me laugh as it’s so apt. ‘Chronic dissatisfaction, the modern disease’
When we are not satisfied with life, we are living in a state of lack. We are constantly on the look-out for better, for more. There is nothing wrong with wanting more or better, but a more constructive way forward, and one in line with becoming mostly happy is to learn to be okay with the now.
Think of everything as temporary. What you see in your life now, if it isn’t inspiring you or making you feel good, is temporary. It is what is is in this moment, but this moment is fleeting.
How to Plan for a Brighter Future Without Looking for It
When we want things, we want them right now, this minute. We don’t want to have to wait. Waiting means stuck like this, and that’s what we want to change. But we are not stuck. We are never static. We are in control of our thoughts, therefore we can choose to think differently.
From today choose to feel Positive. Positive is an energy. It is a feeling that we can evoke at will. We don’t have to believe we are now ‘positive’ We are not trying to convince ourselves of anything, we are simply evoking a feeling within. I often tell people struggling with self-image to choose the feeling of beautiful. ‘I choose to feel beautiful’ – No thought about how anyone else sees them, simply choosing a new feeling and practising living with it.
Be okay with the present. Look at those things you have been feeling negatively about and see how you can tweak your perspective on them. How can you tell yourself a different story.
Nothing has meaning until we attach one to it. If you decide that you are not clever enough, not pretty enough, not tall enough you are the only one effected by those thoughts. Stop comparing yourself to others. If you do this a lot, ask yourself why.
Go Backwards to Move Forwards
Most times, deep routed feelings we hold about ourselves come from the past. Often our childhood. Maybe someone said something to you that stuck, maybe you were often told that you were stupid or not as smart as your brother or sister or friend. Maybe a teacher said something that upset you, perhaps a friend chose someone over you…Anything like this casts a little spell over us that left unchecked effects our life and the way we feel about things and people.
Finding such a thing or things can significantly change the way that you feel in an instant. You recognise it and see it for what it is. An old feeling that can be dissolved. Say these words: I dissolve this feeling.
Make a Plan
Design a plan that you can stick to. If you simply find yourself feeling crap a lot of the time and you aren’t sure why have a word with yourself. Give yourself a new instruction to practise feeling better. Look for 50% better to start with. Think about the things that bother you and practise your new perspective. Keep doing this. Maybe two or three times a day dedicate five minutes to it.
If you are looking to change something significant in your life, set a plan to move forward. Try not to focus on the end goal. Simply focusing on the action will help you to feel motivated and will stop you from feeling apart from your goal. Working towards something feels good. Chasing something does not.
Happy is a state of mind. It might feel quite different to you that it does to me. I have to remind myself to enjoy the moment because even given what I do for a living, I can veer off track at times. reminding myself that the ride is part of the process brings me back to the moment.